Friends of Bethany
We don’t all come in the same package - the beauty of human creation is in our unique differences. In fact, it is usually our clinging to similarities that rise up division and conflict. For some, however, these differences can feel short-changed, unfair even. For some, the scales just don’t seem to fall in much favor. Sometimes that’s poverty, for others it’s lack of family and for a certain population… it’s limb loss.
Ashley lost her right arm at the shoulder in an ATV accident as a teenager. Jaelynn was abandoned by her birth family because she was born without her lower left arm. Hosanna lost her leg after complications of pneumonia. Annika elected to have her right leg amputated after unresolved medical complications that arose from a misdiagnosis. Callie was amputated of both legs due to septic shock and at the same time, lost her unborn baby. Reilly fell seven stories, broke nearly every major bone in her body and was amputated at her right wrist.
That short list alone might be shocking enough, because it’s easy to recognize that it was not a limb alone that has been lost in the process of each of these young women’s stories.
“It’s even frustrating to realize that some of these losses were, by practical reasoning, avoidable. But we are all dealt with precisely what we are capable of to construct a unique and powerful story and that is exactly what the Friends of Bethany annual retreat is about - a union and reunion of young women with amputations or limb differences who are made whole in their identity, bonded by faith and made strong in community, fitness and surf.”
Good chances are that you’ve heard of Bethany Hamilton. Made famous by urgent news headlines and made icon by the box office hit Soul Surfer and talk shows, Bethany lost her left arm in a shark attack at the age of 11 and has been the inspiration to people around the world for her ability to overcome adversity. Following the accident, Bethany rose to a highly successful and professional level alongside full-bodied athletes in competitive surf and astonished audiences with her technical skills despite the physical tragedy. But that’s where most people’s image of Bethany ends - the “shark girl.”
What most people don’t know about Bethany is… well, everything else.
Bethany is a wife and a mother of two young boys. She is an avid pursuant of health and fitness. She eats organically and gluten free. Bethany is an environment-conscious consumer and advocates for sustainable resources. She loves bright colors and wears flowing dresses. She’s tall and graceful. She’s often quiet and soft spoken, but her laugh will reverberate through a room. She has a special popcorn recipe and she just produced a documentary film. But the most apparent thing you see when you really get into Bethany’s circle is that she loves Jesus and her faith is the source of her buoyant nature, both on and off the water.
Perhaps more than the surf trophies and championships, more than the iconic waves she’s conquered and more than the sponsorships, contracts, interviews and public affairs, the Beautifully Flawed retreat might be the greatest expression of who Bethany Hamilton really is and it’s done relatively quietly on a beautiful southern California beachfront.
We are privileged to be a part of the fitness leadership team for Friends of Bethany, helping girls practice the ways in which they are both physically and mentally capable and teaching them concepts of balance in the realistic differences of their physicality. We offer breathing exercises and mindful awareness practice to process the emotional difficulties that accompany severe loss. We give in the manners that we are able, strong enough to serve by moving furniture, transporting luggage and maneuvering wheel chairs and people.
“But above anything we offer is the shared experience of watching young women realize the strength of their circumstance when they shift to a perspective anchored by faith-filled fellowship.”
Because the actual truth of their stories is this:
Ashley is a nationally ranked cross-country runner and is considering athletic scholarships. Jaelynn was adopted by a family who nurture her with unconditional love. Hosanna touched the ocean for the first time since her illness and spent the rest of retreat week out of her wheelchair. She surfed, too. Annika rock climbs, sprints, does back flips and plays volleyball. Callie is a public speaker, wife and mother to a beautiful young girl who loves the color pink as much as she does. Less than six months after her tragic fall, Reilly is walking. And these are not the only stories of redemption.
We have all lost something or were brought into this world without. Whether it’s as obvious or not as a missing arm, leg, or both, the heaviness on our spirit is all the same. In fact, the unseen afflictions often carry some of the greatest pain in that we fail to share them and carry our burdens alongside others. When we are separated from others in our pain, we also become separated in our ability to celebrate and this is what the Beautifully Flawed retreat embodies - that through intimate relationship and a grace for others and self, joy and purpose are always found.
