What is a Coach? - Part II
For the everyday person, signing a gym membership is a bold, even terrifying, first step. For someone overweight, undertrained or inexperienced, the sight of dropping barbells, amped up cyclists, momentous swings on high bars or grooving hips might even bring a lump to the throat and knot in the belly. Every question of self doubt and ridicule echo loudly.
In the “bootcamp drill sergeant” model of coaching, you keep up or you get out. Mindset, it’s taught, is drilling routine to perfection - Stick to the plan! Trust the program!The participant becomes drilled to ignore the voices of fear and becomes a soldier of commitment to a process they might not even understand. Although this structured class system may aim to provide the framework for community, it falls drastically short of real human connection when it comes to actual teaching and long term impact.
More than being a motivator, clock-ticker, or rep-counter, even more than coaching technique and physical skill, the role of a true coach is to create relationship, trust and the freedom to make mistakes. The gym and community within it must create a space of safety and focus on people’s realreactions and emotions. Relationship addresses, not ignores, the presence of Fear. And then casts it out.
This means ingenuity, creativity and fluidity of the coach-client relationship in order to understand the best training approach not only on the macro level (long-term goals, such as weight loss), but in the details of how personal life, day-to-day experience and personality can play into any single session or season. A coach must be able to assess a client in any given session or even at any given moment, what the best course of action will be. This might take to account the time of day a client is training, the lifestyle choices of the client or group dynamic, but it will always account for individual story. It is in the process of revelation, not experience, that we become more fit for our call as humans.
At the bottom line, being a coach isn’t a careless job title - it has to be a heartfelt mission for relationship and compassion to others. What does it take to create a healthy relationship and safe place so that people can grow?
Commitment
This is on the part of both client and coach. How far are you willing to go as a coach? How much do you want to invest into the relationship you share with an athlete? How much and to what depth of their emotions, for example, are you also willing to “deal with”? Defining and then committing to the roles of any relationship establishes the security necessary to develop a confident connection.
Empathy
Understanding your client means to be in the experience with them. We are not aloof doctors behind clipboards or the makers of a WikiHow on "how to" anything. We are not distant rabbis of religion. To truly witness the change, healing and growth of a client, you must be willing to become a learner right in the process with them. Human experience is anything but disconnected and what your client brings to the table, what you choose to see, is as much about what you bring to the table, too.
Trust
Developing trust is an ongoing process, but for the coach this process will require deliberate and meaningful attention to the individual. One-on-one sessions, assessments, and checkups help to develop the opportunities to build up the coach-client faith. Building community is also a part of this process and can be fostered through community events and group experiences.
Free Will
The client must be given the opportunity to make mistakes in the learning process. This means that not every step of the process should be hand held, and that the client should be given opportunities to experiment within safe parameters. The point is not to simply execute movements, but to learn and form questions along the way.
Communication
This is about actual learning in which the coach engages with the client on their journey to health and performance. This means discussing goals, establishing training values and teaching the client not only what to do, but how and why they are doing it. This also requires that a coach not only speaks and instructs, but listens, too. The client must felt heard and understood.
Vulnerability
The idea of creating safety is to encourage openness and vulnerability within a relationship. Not to be confused with weakness, a client should feel comfortable to discuss issues outside of the current exercise. Our biology, physiology and psychology are intricately wired and being able to discuss the other causes of physical, mental or emotional stress or discomfort can have a dramatic impact on the success of a “fitness” program. Coaches should help clients understand that health is about more than just exercise.
Compassion
We’ve all had the client that has taken a lot of our patience — the member who doesn’t seem to care about their own health as much as you do or the athlete who keeps missing the same lesson. Is it the stubborn nature of the client to blame or do we hold a responsibility to keep trying? Is there something we ought to learn, too? Again, this is a measure of commitment a coach must ask themselves in how much they are willing to invest into a client before the job is through.
Individuality
Without feeling the pressure of performance, a client must feel the freedom to excel within their own personality. The standard of “becoming fit” can’t be held by the workouts times of the staff of your gym or your fittest class members - each individual has the same opportunity to grow. A coach must be able to address client specificity according to the individual in front of them.
Faith
When you come to the client who can't catch the moral, who won't take responsibility or who is beyond your own capacity to bring out of a place of stagnation or despair... know that it is in your never ending pursuit to be therethat will be remembered. Even if nobody else does (even the client themselves), choose to believe in the better of people.
This isn’t a step-by-step program on “How to be a Coach" - if you want a logistical approach to your duty, this is not it. The summary is that being a teacher is about being genuine in building relationships with others. Being a coach isn’t about being right, it’s about about being able to come alongside people and say “Hey, me too.”
